The teenage years can be difficult for parents and teens alike—and moodiness definitely doesn’t help. However, during this critical stage in your child’s development, it’s important to be observant and keep the lines of communication open. And while teen’s mood swings can often seem extreme, there are signs to help distinguish between normal teenage behavior and a potential mental health condition or mood disorder.
Navigating Mood Swings
During puberty, which usually begins in girls between ages 10 and 14 and in boys between ages 12 and 16, kids experience changes in hormone levels that impact them physically, emotionally and socially—all around the same time. Those years of turmoil can be confusing for adolescents and teens, many of whom haven’t yet developed the brain function, emotional maturity or coping skills they need to properly deal with the range of changes they encounter. Mood swings are often the result.
Short-term changes in teens’ moods or energy levels are often due to hormonal shifts, such as a girl’s menstrual cycle or a drop in blood sugar, but they can also be caused by external stressors like schoolwork, sports or relationships. These mood shifts are normal, and they usually resolve when the stressful situation calms down. However, it’s not normal for those shifts in mood to extend for long periods of time, become violent, or disrupt your teen’s life or the lives of people around them.
Mood Swings or Mental Health Condition?
There are some established signs that indicate your teen may be struggling with a mental health disorder. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that teens with these conditions may display:
- Alcohol or drug use
- Changes in everyday patterns, such as with eating or sleeping
- Inability to manage intrusive thoughts or worries
- Loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed
- New or more intense interest in sexual activity
- Reluctance or refusal to speak about issues or concerns with trusted loved ones
- Self-harm, including unexplainable cuts, bruises and burns
- Struggles with schoolwork or school activities, particularly if this hasn’t been a problem in the past
- Depressed or overly happy mood or other personality change that lasts more than 2 weeks at a time
- Withdrawal from friends and family
A teen displaying one of these behaviors isn’t necessarily cause for worry, but consistently seeing these changes could be an indicator of either a physical or mental health condition. In either case, help from a medical professional may be needed. If your teen is experiencing mood swings—whether new or ongoing—it’s important to talk to them, understand the cause and seek help for your kids when they need it.
Starting a Conversation about Mental Health
When you’re concerned your teen may have a mental health issue, it’s time to have a conversation. Here are some tips to help.
- Wait until the time is right. A conversation about your teen’s mental health isn’t a dinner table conversation. Instead, make sure that they feel comfortable and safe talking about it by connecting during an activity your teen enjoys, such as during a walk through the neighborhood or while you’re playing a game together.
- Be straightforward. There is a stigma about mental health, so it’s likely that you and your teen may both be uncomfortable talking about these issues. Start the conversation off by explaining that you want to help. Say something like, “This may be difficult for both of us, but it’s important that I understand what you’re experiencing so I can give you support in the right ways.”
- Share observations in a helpful way. Communicate in a way that shows you’re paying attention and want to help. Try saying something like, “I’ve heard you crying a few times this week, and I was wondering if we can talk about it. I sometimes cry when I’m feeling sad or if I’m anxious, stressed or depressed about something. Is that happening to you?”
- Listen to what they’re saying. It’s hard for teens to discuss problems they’re experiencing, particularly with their parents. While teen issues may seem silly or immature to you, they could be creating major turmoil in your child’s life. Being an active listener goes a long way toward building trust as you listen to their worries and feelings.
- React appropriately. Watch how your child is communicating. If they become upset or confused by something you say, you may need to offer more explanation or ask additional questions. It is important to control your own emotions when your teen is sharing about theirs, as they are often afraid of upsetting parents or causing further stress on the family. Provide reassurance that no problem is too big and that together you can address it.
- Help find additional resources. Parents are often not equipped to handle mental health issues alone. Ask your teen if they would like to talk to someone else—like a doctor or counselor—about their problems. If your child has already done research and believes they may have a specific condition, look over the materials together and try to find a doctor or psychologist to help make a diagnosis.
- Gauge their safety. If your child mentions suicide, self-harm or hurting someone else, it’s natural for you to be afraid. Don’t downplay the situation out of your own fear. Instead, let them know you love them, you’re worried about them and you want to get the right kind of help to address these feelings. Call your doctor, or you can dial 988 (or 1.800.NEXT.STEP) to access the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to get free and confidential support for people in crisis.
The Kids Aren’t Alright—But They’re Getting There
One of the most important things we learned in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic is that the lockdown had a disproportionate impact on teens’ mental health. In a 2021 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) survey of high school students, more than 35% said they had poor mental health during the pandemic, and almost 45% felt hopeless or persistently sad during that same timeframe. An astonishing 26% of teens without connections to adults and peers at school reported serious thoughts about attempting suicide.
The CDC says that statistics are improving—ED visits for mental health conditions and suicide-related behaviors are decreasing—but we still have a lot to do. If you see longer-term mood swings or other behaviors that are concerning, it’s time to talk about it. Your teen is worth the difficult conversation.
More to Read
- Help Your Child Deal with Bullying
- Parenting and Mental Health: Building Your Toolkit
- The Surprising Connection Between Gratitude and Mental Health
- How to Address the Mental Health Stigma
Does your child need help with mental health issues? Contact the Klein Family Harford Crisis Center or your child’s doctor right away. You can always consult the experts at the University of Maryland Medical System. Talk to a child and adolescent psychiatry expert.
Medically reviewed by Jennifer Redding, LCSW-C, Executive Director of Klein Family Center
